For those of you who don't know me, you can call me "Pappy." I'm a 27 year old law student. I'm not typically the sort that delves into the rampart narcissism that is the internet profile game. However, I thought it might be interesting to write a blog that follows my exploits in my futile attempt to craft the life I want - the life of a "professional" poker player. I thought this blog might entertain as well as give me an out to vent and help me keep track of everything that's happened.
I suppose the place to begin is usually with the beginning. My friends and I began watching replays of the World Series of Poker a few years before Moneymaker's victory in 2003, so probably around 2001. We were unusual in that our interest in poker predated the Moneymaker Effect. Frankly, I vastly prefer ESPN's WSOP broadcast format back then (I just can't watch the WSOP these days) but that's another story for another day. We began playing simple tournaments among ourselves and cash games for ten or twenty dollars. I also began playing online (in the days pre-FTP). We'd play No Limit Hold 'Em and Seven Card Stud mostly. Some Omaha and Omaha H/L. A few of my friends took a lackadaisical interest in the game; a good number of us immediately developed an avid interest in the game. I was smitten from the first. I constantly read about professional poker players and am always remarkably interested in how they got their start. It seems to me the formula usually goes something like this: they played on a whim - a work or school game, something casual - and noticed pretty quickly they had a natural talent for the game, a talent they only decided to develop and pursue after it became apparent to them that they excelled at the game and profit would be easy. Think of me as the opposite of that. My interest was purposeful and focused. I loved poker - playing it, watching it, reading about it, learning about it, talking about it. If I could live, breathe, and eat poker, I would. However, let me be very clear - I have zero aptitude for the game. I have no natural talent. Any skill I have has been purposefully honed, manufacturing something out of nothing, beating my head against the wall for hours on end. For the first few years of playing poker, I was abysmal. Incredibly tight, over aggressive, terrible judgment, terrible betting patterns. I am on the steepest poker learning curve possible. I think of myself as being a pretty sub par poker player because I just turned 27 and have been playing the game seriously for thirteen or so years and have only come so far. I don't want to paint the wrong picture, though - I am generally regarded by my peers, those who've played with me for years and those I've only played with a few hours, as being a good, solid player. I have a weird tendency to underrate myself. Part of this comes from the fact that I've only been able to book successes these past few years.
Without going into excruciating detail, I've played millions of hours in home cash games, casinos, and online. In college I ran a game out of my apartment and usually made the weekend trip from College Station (where I studied at A&M) to the Winstar Casino right inside the Oklahoma border. I've played a million online tournaments and cash games, though I've never bothered playing a live tourney. However, I've never really made a run of it. For taking it so seriously, my approach has been piecemeal and unfocused and generally comprised of one offs. I've never started with a bankroll and seen what I can make of myself. Money has always been tight for me and I generally have spent my "bankrolls" and winnings on personal matters. My playing has been sporadic at best - playing for a few weeks and then taking a few months off.
That's where I've been. This is where I am. I'm 27 years old and a third (really fourth) year law student at the University of Houston Law Center. I am about to begin my last (and busiest) semester as a law student. After this semester, I will take a bar exam prep course and then take the Texas bar in July. I obviously live in Houston, the city I'm originally from. I'm about to move to a loft apartment on campus just steps from the law school. I am taking a 2 hour minimester class that ends before the semester begins. During the semester, I will take 15 hours, which is by far the biggest load I've had. For those of you who've gone to law school or are familiar with it, you are aware that 15 hours is a great deal of work. So this begs the question, why now? Well, because I think of it as my last real shot. Soon I will take the bar and begin working eighty hours a week as an attorney making my first real salary and that will really close the poker window for a long time. So we know why now, but why at all? From the very first days I was dealt two hole cards face down, I've wanted nothing more than be a professional poker player. It's my dream, it's my ambition, it's my goal - it's my pipe dream.
The title of this blog is "Poker Pipe Dream." For those of you who aren't familiar with the term "pipe dream," it's infamously used in the poker class film "Rounders" (a rounder is another term for a professional poker player) though I think the term is used outside the game. A pipe dream is an unrealistic dream that is almost never likely to come to fruition. The chances of me succeeding in this endeavor is nearly zero. I don't mean to sound like I have no confidence - I'm very confident in my game. I'd never win pots if I wasn't. I am just painfully realistic with my expectations up front. I am one of those suckers that's born to lose. Not much ever works out. I'm not a big loser who operates poorly - that'd at least be interesting. I'm just an average guy who has just enough talent in life to get by but not enough to be a winner. Also, my starting conditions are definitely not optimal. So why do it? Because I firmly believe that just because you know you're going to fail doesn't mean you shouldn't try. I also know anyone I told of my dream would laugh in my face and that makes me want to try all the more. I don't want to be a burned out forty year old fat lawyer that never tried to follow his heart.
This blog will not solely be dedicated to poker. I also plan on losing weight with a goal weight of 158 pounds (I'm 5'8.5) and to excel in school this semester. I also plan on writing a book this semester. I know, I'm out of my mind, right? So other bits of my life will pop up here and there in the blog. So what are we looking at? Well, here's my (poor) plan. Law school Monday-Thursday afternoon. I plan on spending those four days of the week working out twice a day and studying ferociously. Thursday afternoon, I will hop in my car and speed off to Lake Charles, Louisiana to the brand-new (gorgeous) Golden Nugget Casino. I will play $1/3 No Limit Texas Hold 'Em. For those of you unfamiliar with Texas Hold 'em, here are the rules. $1/3 means the small blind is 1 dollar and the big blind is 3 dollars. The minimum buy in to the game is $100 and the maximum is typically $300. However, at the Golden Nugget, you can buy up to 50% of the biggest stack of the table. My typical buy in will be $400. My bankroll is $3400 to begin with. That means I have 8.5 buy ins, so really 8 buy in's at $400 and a $200 buy in. As any good poker player will tell you, that is not enough buy ins for a proper bankroll. However, it's what I have to work with. Any good poker player would also berate me for playing $1/3 and not $2/5. $1/3 is the lowest stakes you can play in most casinos and is generally populated with poor players. I'm starting at $1/3 for a number of reasons. First, I have a limited number of buy ins. The counter argument is I could have 8+ buy ins at $2/5 buying in for $400. However, I know I can beat $1/3. I play it constantly, I know it inside and out. $2/5 attracts much more serious, quality(Sober) players and I've only played $2/5 a handful of times. At this point, any poker player is laughing at me. Going to grind at $1/3 and become a pro when you've barely played $2/5? My reply is everyone has to start somewhere. When (if) I grind my bankroll up, I will shift over to $2/5 eventually.
So what are my goals specifically? Monday through Thursday afternoon, nothing but school and working out and reading poker books. I plan on always reading poker books, a front I've been very lazy on. I just purchased the Poker Bible (Super System) so I'm a day late and a dollar short there. I currently own about 6 poker books. Thursday-Sunday afternoon, staying at cheap motels in Lake Charles and grinding it out. I will drive to Louisiana on Thursday, play all night, rent a motel room Friday afternoon, sleep awhile, wake up and play the rest of Friday, and stay in the motel Friday and Saturday night. I will always meditate before I play. It's usually inadvisable to set money goals, but I'm going to set them just as amorphous hopefuls rather than must haves. I hope to make $400 on Thursday, $400 on Friday, $400 on Saturday, and $200 on Sunday. That would mean $1400 per trip. Gas will cost me $80 and motels will cost me $140. That means to just break even on the trip, I need a net profit of $220. I will bring my own food and I don't smoke or dip (6 months dip free right now). I don't find these goals that daunting as I commonly cash out of $1/3 at $1200 or $1400. I plan on experimenting with my game and stepping out a little.
I have to admit, I'm a bit scared. $3200 dollars is a lot of money to me (remember, I'm a low level grinder in school). The reason it's $3200 and not $4000 is that I had an awful day at a casino in Illinois over the break. $3200 can go quickly. My losing cap per trip will be 3 buy ins or $1200.
Another specific goal I have is to grind up enough money to play 3 events in the WSOP in Vegas. My goal for that trip will be $3000. I will pay for 2 $1000 events, 1 will be a gift, and the rest will be for travel and lodging.
For those of you following this blog, poker has lot of jargon. It is it's own language. I will try to explain terms as I go but I will likely forget from time to time. A bankroll is a dedicated amount of money reserved to play poker with. You can't withdraw from it for personal expenses.
I regard myself as being a grinder and no matter how far I go (or don't go) I will always be a grinder. I want to be a professional in the sense that I want to make my living this way. I don't have any dream of getting rich and playing at the highest levels. I want to be able to be able to pay my bills and support myself. I know this is laughable, but in life, I want to have the courage to at least try to pursue one real goal.
My first trip out will be in mid January, sometimes around the 11th-ish. Wish me luck.
